Lemon Pie

Dear mom,

Haven't spoken to you in a while but I just want to let you know I've been missing your lemon pies. I know we had a rough time growing up but I don't fault you for the past. It would break my heart to hear you cry at night thinking of the horrible things we went through as kids. But you made me the person I am today. Strong, independent, and a fighter. I saw you endure so much all the way to the end but in the end you were still fighting. Sometimes I don't know if I can make it because I want to be with you, but other times I know I have to fight because you expect so much from me. As a kid you were my hero, and as an adult I was yours. I remember when you first tasted my spaghetti, you changed your recipe. Now we both know I'll never be able to top your lemon pie, but you know I'm gonna try. I miss your smile and your attitude, your cooking and your bitching. I tell my friends to appreciate their moms cause truthfully I took you for granted until I found out I was gonna lose you. Then I wished I had more time to do the things for you that I hated. It was hard to watch you leave me that day. As we all stood around to comfort you, I felt you telling me to go but I just couldn't do it. You were just lying there but you would cry when you heard my voice. I stayed strong and told you it was ok to let go, but I didn't mean it. I held your hand mom I'm sorry that's all I was able to do. As you let out a big sigh, I knew it was over but I didn't know what to do so I just ran until I couldn't run anymore. Thank you for sending in my cousin as I sat in the room with you yelling at you to please come back. I know I told you we were going to move you and everything was going to be ok, but I couldn't tell you the truth, I'm so sorry. When the pastor came to talk to you, I remember you told him yes you were at peace but you were staying here with your kids. I saw in your face you meant it. You are still with me mom. You will always be with me. I just wish when I get my car I can let you drive it or you could come to my new place and laugh with me, I need you just as much today as i did as a child.

Love your son.